Maisara's pov
"Ameen."
Wiping my face with both hands, I finish my Fajr prayer. Getting up quickly, I fold the prayer mat and keep it inside the closet. Then I make a cup of coffee for myself and make my way to the balcony. A soft sigh leaves my mouth as I feel the cool breeze of the dawn brushing against my face. I take a deep breath for the crisp morning air to fill my lungs and awaken my senses.
The sky is still dark, but the horizon is already ablaze with hues of pink and orange. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the morning, mostly the chirping of birds. The distant hum of cars on the highway can be heard every now and then.
Another soft relaxed sigh leaves my mouth. This is the time of the day I like the most. A time of pure tranquility. It is a reminder of the beauty and wonder of nature, of the infinite possibilities of a new day. A sense of peace washes over me. I would always cherish this time and this feeling, if possible.
A soft rustling sound beside me disturbs the quiet calm. Expecting Lydia, I turn my head slowly and realize it's not actually Lydia. Instead-
"What are you doing here?" The word automatically leaves my mouth as I squint at Felix.
He is looking.........different. His highlighted hair is flowing softly with the breeze, wiping his forehead, the side of his face, and sometimes the upper part of his nose. His eyes, a pool of liquid gold with a drop of ink, are fixed on me as his lips are pulled upwards into a soft, easygoing smile. He still has the outfit from the previous night, a grey t-shirt and a pair of blue denim jeans pants. How did he sleep with the pants on?
There's no hint of sleep in his features. He either didn't sleep at all or he woke up earlier enough for the sleepiness to wear off.
"You mean 'Good morning'?" He says in a light teasing tone, tilting his head to the side. The golden-brown locks swing with the motion. Some of them fall over his left eye like a curtain.
Taking the first sip of my coffee, I lick my lips before answering, "No, I mean what are you doing here?"
I feel a deja-vu just after saying that as if the same dialogues were exchanged between two characters in either one of the novels I read or in one of the series I watched. I can't exactly remember where it happened.
He shrugs, running a hand through his hair to move them away from his eye. Tearing his gaze from me, he looks ahead, mumbling, "Well, good morning to you too."
I keep looking at him, kinda hoping that my gaze is looking somewhat glaring. Because standing here, in this peaceful environment, under the blushing sky, and through the light breeze, I feel strange. Everything feels strange. As I'm staring at his side profile, I forget why I was pissed off at him in the first place. Why I was-
"That's what he said to me, Rose! Do you expect me to believe you over him?"
"Maisara, tell me, are you always in a bad mood or is it just me who always finds you at the wrong time?"
I blink and the flashback replaces by the golden-eyed guy again. He's now looking at me leaning against the railing with his right arm. Irritation starts blooming inside me again as I remember what I was about to forget. I look away taking a sip from the coffee and focus on the scene ahead of me instead. The sky is getting colors quickly as the soft rays of light are illuminating the world. The sun is rising.
"Maybe you're the reason for my bad mood?" I reply.
"Oh, yeah?" I can feel him raising his eyebrows at me. I resist the urge to look back at him. After some quiet moments, he finally sighs and says, "Okay, fine. Relax a little bit, woman. Jesus!"
"I'm perfectly relaxed," I reply, cracking my neck a little to glance at him. "Tell me what are you doing here?"
He shrugs again, jerking his chin towards the view in front of us. "I thought the balcony has a nice view for watching the sunrise."
I shake my head sipping from the cup. "What's the real reason?"
I sense the awkwardness slips from him and lingers in the air for the time he takes to prepare himself for whatever he's about to say. I refuse to meet his gaze again even after feeling them over me. Clearing his throat, he finally says, "Well, actually, I wanted to say sorry. For last night, I mean. We-I didn't know you were home, first of all. I don't know about them but I would have controlled.......the situation more differently if I knew that."
I choke out laughing. "You would have controlled the situation?" Raising my eyebrows, I give him a taunting look. "You can hardly even control your own messed up situation and you'll control other situations?"
He frowns at me, annoyance clearly reflecting in his light-colored orbs. "Okay, you can't judge me just from one random incident."
I turn around fully this time, focusing my eyes solely on him, even I can feel my gaze sharpening. My lips form into a dark smirk, the very same darkness that starts spreading through my veins, boiling the blood along the way, and making its way to my head.
One look on my face and he senses something is wrong. He pushes himself off of the railing, an alarmed look crosses over his eyes but he decides to keep his mouth shut. He just watches me as I say, "Oh, can't I now? You didn't seem to have a problem doing the same thing with me. Why is it a problem when I do so?"
The tightness in his posture loosens as confusion crosses his eyes. He blinks at me. "What are you talking about?"
I turn around dismissing any thought about it. "Nothing." It was already a mistake to bring that topic into this conversation when I myself locked it away and vowed to never bring it up all those years ago.
"No, it wasn't-"
"Just forget it, okay?" I almost wince as the loud voice of mine pierces through the quietness of the morning. Without giving another glance in his direction, I walk back to the door of the balcony to my room, not before mumbling to him, "Enjoy the sunrise for what you're here."
After a few hours-
"I-We need to talk."
Those are the words I hear when I open the door of my room that leads to the main hall. I look up to find my roommate staring back at me. And I find that something is different about her. It may feel that way because her eyes don't have the usual sparks in them. Or maybe because the constant smile on her lips is now replaced with a thin line. Or maybe it's because her face which always used to show every single emotion she felt is now void of any. Maybe it's because she suddenly looks mature and older and just.........different from the Lydia I know.
I look at the two figures shadowing behind her, not just behind her, they are maintaining a 'respectable' distance. Ryker is leaning against the wall with his phone in his hand, acting as if he's not eavesdropping. Beside him, Felix is standing with his hands tucked into his jeans pocket and his eyes on us, on me. He even offers a smile when our eyes meet.
Jerk.
"Not here," I say to Lydia, my eyes still holding Felix's gaze. "Not where they can hear."
"Okay, come with me," she says walking away from my door. I step out of the room, locking the door behind me. I try my best to not glance in Felix's direction even when I feel his eyes on me all the way to Lydia's room.
Her room is the same as mine, the only difference is how she decorated it. One side of her wall is decorated with pictures of her family, friends, and Ryker. She even has pictures with me. The wall behind her bed is decorated with fairy lights and artificial flowers. The remaining of a scented candle is still sitting on her nightstand, the soft lavender scent of it is still in the air. But what draws my attention most is-
"Where are you going?" I ask eyeing the luggage as she shuts the door behind me. She walks past me to stand near the luggage. Her eyes are also on it when she says, "I'm leaving."
"Leaving?" I ask even though I know what she means in the back of my mind.
"Yes, leaving." She finally meets my gaze. "Leaving the whole apartment for you and going to find my own home."
I fall silent. I knew what I said to her last night cut deep but I didn't know it was that deep. Not at least that much that she would actually pack luggage overnight and announce in the morning that she's leaving.
She knows me. She knows my temper as well. So I thought she would understand even if my guts were telling me otherwise last night. It seems like my guts were right after all.
Or it can be that someone manipulated her.
"Lydia, if it's because of Ryker-"
"It's not," Lydia almost snaps at me. I feel my eyes widen at her change of tone. She clears her throat and refuses to meet my eyes as she continues, "It's my own decision."
"You're not taking those?" I ask jerking my head to the fairy lights and photo frames. She walks over to them studying the photos like she's seeing them for the first time. Slowly, she lifts her hand and runs it over one of them. I realize it is the picture of us.
"Taking them in a shopping bag on my way out," she replies softly.
"You don't need to." I walk over to her and stare at the photo. That's a selfie. She's smiling brightly like always making a v-sign with her left hand. Behind her, I'm just staring at the camera like a bored old man. I remember where it is. We went to a restaurant as a celebration for me when I started living with her as her roommate. I didn't want to but she kept insisting so much that I eventually had to agree just to shut her up. It was our first hangout as roommates and was a.......good time.
"I've thought about it," Lydia says quietly. "I act reckless most of the time and cause you trouble and pain. You don't deserve that. If I leave-"
"You are not going anywhere," I cut her off before she finishes it. "If anyone has to go, that would be me." Because I don't deserve you, someone cheerful and happy like sunshine. I don't deserve sunshine. Darkness is better for me. That's what I deserve.
"Maisara, I-"
"The apartment was yours to begin with." I back away a few steps towards the door, a faint smile painted on my lips which I'm pretty sure is making me look constipated. "Consider me as a guest of a few months."
"No, you can't do that. I have already decided. Why would you-"
"Just accept it as a gift from me." I turn around and open the door, hiding the expression on my face from her. "For all the birthdays that I didn't bring any gifts for you."
Swiftly, I walk out of her room and back to my own. Grabbing my phone and side bag, I walk out of the apartment ignoring Lydia's call behind me wholly. Once, only once, my eyes lock with the piercing gaze of a certain male. And seeing how the look in his eyes changes, I realize he sees something in my expression that he shouldn't have seen. He doesn't get the chance to say anything. But I feel his eyes following me till I'm in the elevator to go down and the door shut down behind me. And I start feeling defeated all over again.
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