Maisara's pov

Felix is looking different. I have noticed it in the kitchen too but I have been too dazzled to pinpoint what's the difference. Now that we are in my room and I've somewhat got my working brain back, I see the difference.

The first thing I notice is him wearing a black kurta. The sleeves are folded up to his elbow. The way he is carrying it gives an impression that this is not his first time wearing it. I don't recall seeing him in a kurta ever. And obviously, that has an effect on me. Holding my breath, I look up at his face and there, I notice further changes.

He is wearing surma. I seriously don't know how I didn't notice it in the kitchen when I was gazing up at his eyes from inches away. But now that I'm further away from him, I see the surma in his eyes. The realization comes so suddenly that I almost feel as if I've been knocked over by it.

Did he......? No. I don't think so. The possibility of that happening is near zero, if not completely zero. Then what is this?

"How am I looking?"

"What did you do?"

Both of us speak at the same time with him inquiring the later. Hearing my question, he gives me such a confused look that I believe him for a second. "What do you mean? What would I do?"

He has visibly changed his appearance and he is telling me that he doesn't know what he has done. I take a deep breath, taking a seat on the chair opposite my bed as Felix is sitting on the bed. "I think you know what I mean. You have changed your appearance. Why?"

He grins brightly, with sparkling eyes and everything. "That's what I was saying. How do I look?"

Is it a joke? We are nowhere near talking about the same topic. He........ Well, his behavior is quite different as well. He has been flirting smoothly and endlessly. After our last 'encounter', that isn't a normal reaction on his part. I'm not saying that he should have been devastated. But considering the way I have rejected him last time, he probably shouldn't be flirting like that.

However, considering his very noticeable changes, I'm not sure if his behavior is that much weird. But if he is going down that route, I guess it's better to follow. I don't really have the energy to find a different way to communicate or argue for the matter.

So, I reply, "You wouldn't tell me the reason behind it if I don't tell you how you look?"

His eyes glint in mischief as he nods. "Mhm, something like that."

I have a horrible urge to match his flirtatious energy but I also know that would lead to a completely different ending. I don't need that now. I need answers. Following his route doesn't require me to flirt back.

"You are surely not here to flirt with me, are you?" Even if he disagrees, I don't see a reason to believe him. He definitely has his reasons to do this drama and meet me again.

As expected, he shrugs. "Why not?"

I don't feel as annoyed as I should be by his answers. It might be because I'm still sentimental about seeing him after such a long time. It's even surprising that I haven't broken down yet. I'm over the phase of disbelief now but still my heart is in a fragile condition now. However, I try to sound annoyed to some degree. "Are you hearing how ridiculous you sound?"

"Would I sound sensible if I say I want to make out with you?" Here he goes again. What is even more ridiculous is that he has said it with a serious look. I rub a hand over my face. "Are you.....drunk?"

He dramatically rolls his eyes. "No, I'm a convert." He points one finger at himself and another one at me. "And you are an idiot."

My ears start ringing hearing his words. I stare at him in disbelief, not quite accepting that my assumption is true. My brain goes back into slow processor mode. 'I'm a convert.' He says it so simply as if talking about the weather. Is there any other meaning to it that I'm unaware of? If not, then........ Oh my God!

I close my eyes and lean my head back as the possibility of what could happen if I'm understanding his words correctly hits me hard in the gut. My head starts spinning. The only way to get this right is to confirm it. I doubt it would make me feel any better. Still, I go for that.

Opening my eyes into slits, I look at him. "You converted." Then I pause and take a deep breath because saying the next words feels too surreal. "To......"

Felix takes it as a cue to complete the sentence as I'm hesitant. "Islam, yes. I thought it was obvious?" He gestures to himself and gives me a questioning look. His behavior is confusing the hell out of me. He is acting as if it's the most normal thing to do. You get rejected by a woman because she chooses her religion over you and the next thing you do is change into her religion. Yeah, that clearly makes sense.

"Why?" I ask stupidly because that's not making sense to me. He watches me for a few seconds, his eyes holding a look too soft in them. That's not exactly good for me. My emotions are already all over the place. If he looks at me like that, I don't know what to do with it.

As if sensing my thoughts, he decides to release me from the torture and reply to my question. "Because you are an idiot. My idiot but still an idiot." I don't know how calling me an 'idiot' thousands of times is gonna answer my question but I nod along.

He leans forward and the look in his eyes changes to a serious one, if not accusing. I suck in my breath as he continues, "You had to say once. 'Felix, I want you by my side.' And I would break through hell to be by your side. Once, Maisara. You had to open your mouth and speak from your heart."

The emphasis in his voice makes me quiver. I bite the inside of my cheeks as he gives me a grin that looks unnecessarily harsh. "But no, you didn't. What did you do? Being the idiot you are, you went with, 'I don't want you in my life anymore.'"

He pauses to take a break. The weight of his decision starts sinking in. I'm still in disbelief but the back of my eyes is starting to burn. I swallow hard and blink twice. It is gonna be a hard conversation.

He sighs, a defeated look crossing over his face. "When you verbally said that you didn't need me, I couldn't do anything obviously. As expected, I went into depressive mode after you left. It was........" He pauses abruptly, searching for a word to describe that situation. I feel an ache inside my chest because I can understand what he felt. I went through something similar too.

"Bad." He nods as if this simple term can express everything he felt at that time. He understands it won't do too as the next thing he says is, "I would rather not go into details."

Dismissing it with a gesture of his hand, he continues, "Seeing my condition, Ian suggested me to contact someone related to you. I didn't bother because I was also an idiot. Then Maria was the one who contacted me, asking what happened as she hadn't seen any of us for a long time. I was reluctant to tell her. But you know how she is. I ended up telling her. She asked specifically what you said. I told her word by word and got scolded for that.

Seeing my confused look, he chuckles lightly. "Well, she actually scolded me for not understanding your mind. She was the one who explained things to me and that's when I realized what a mistake I made."

Again seeing the look on my face, he changes his tone. "No, she didn't suggest or force me to change my religion or anything. She just said that I needed to learn more about you to know you. And I was arrogant enough to think that I have learned everything concerning you."

He pauses again, pursing his lips and rubbing a hand over his face as if it's embarrassing to even admit it. A second later, he continues, "As you may have guessed, I got scolded for that too. Stuffs about fragile male ego and all that. That somewhat motivated me to dig into more details. So, I went to the library, went to Maria's house, and......"

I have already guessed what he is about to say next and seeing him hesitating just confirms that. "You went to my old house too."

He gets defensive. "But I have my reasons for that and—"

"We will get to that later. Continue," I interrupt because it's gonna be another stressful issue that will change my brain chemistry again. I need him to finish this one first. That one is not my current problem. I will deal with that later.

He looks taken aback for a second. Then he shrugs and continues, "Anyways, so basically I searched anywhere and anything that had even a touch or a glimpse of you. In the process, I got to meet Ayesha."

He pauses for a second and looks away. I don't know what this means. It seems like he is thinking of something. With his eyes fixed on the wall to his left, he continues, "She didn't want to talk to me at first. But I was desperate."

His eyes find their way back to me, a somber expression beneath them. "She still didn't talk to me. Guess she is more stubborn than me. However, she referred me to a Sheikh who was also her teacher. I didn't understand the reason at first because I didn't express any interest in knowing the religion or anything. I just wanted to know more about you. Nonetheless, I followed her advice and met the Sheikh."

I probably know who it is. I have gone to him one or two times too. He is a relative of Ayesha. I, again, don't recall his name. I nod for him to continue and he takes the cue. "Obviously, he asked me the reason for meeting him after the introductory part and I told him that Ayesha referred me. He went, "But there is a reason or a problem for which she did that?" So, I kinda told him everything. He listened carefully and after I finished, the only thing he said was, "If you want her back, the one solution could be converting to Islam." And that kinda changed my view of the world and I'm definitely not exaggerating."

"But that's not—" I start protesting and he nods already getting what I mean to say. "I know. But I think that was necessary for him to tell me that at that moment. I needed to hear that." He leans forward again, with eyes filled with suppressed pain.

Suddenly, he gets up and starts pacing the room. I wait for him to speak again. Taking three or four steps, he turns back to glance at me. From a distance, I can see the torment he has been through. He starts talking and I notice a strain in his voice, "I don't know how much you can understand but my condition was so much worse at that time. I was on the verge of going insane. I needed a solution, a permanent one. And that involved you. And the Sheikh gave me just that."

He takes a few more steps and takes a seat on the vanity tool. It looks like he is becoming more restless as the story continues. Still, he doesn't stop. "Well, then you can probably guess the rest of the procedure. I instantly agreed to that but he told me to take time and think about it. I said that I didn't have time. And what he did after that was sit me down and guide me towards Deen."

A small smile paints his lips. "By the end of the night, when he finally left me and went to pray Fajr, I was just sitting there and watching him thinking about my life and its accomplishments so far. He managed to change my thoughts within one night. The power of manipulation is so strong. But I didn't mind because it did me good. After the prayer, he asked me if my decision was still intact after knowing all the sides of Islam."

He pauses again, his eyes growing distant as he thinks of something before continuing, "It was hard, I'm not gonna lie, because you know there are horrific things regarding the Akhirah and some other things. But there are good things too. And it seemed like a good deal to me. If I try harder, I'm gonna get you in this life and the eternal peace in the afterlife. I don't know if it's real but I started feeling like I would find my serenity if I converted. It didn't seem that hard. So, I said yes."

He rubs his jaw absentmindedly. Then, he smiles which almost resembles a smirk. "Then he advised that I should ask for my parents' opinion at least once about it. You know my parents. They are liberal. They wouldn't so much even bat an eye. They themselves have done........," He abruptly pauses, eyes widening as he realizes that he is about to say more than necessary. I remember Ian's words from earlier. They were into, you know, gangs and mobs? They moved after something big happened with the businesses they were involved in.

Felix shakes his head as if to get rid of the thought. Then he speaks again, "However, I didn't want to argue with him anymore so I called my dad, told him everything and he said if I could actually get you back he would be the proudest father to ever exist."

He lets out a small chuckle, his eyes sparkling with pride as well. I look away. It's getting hard for me to control my emotions. The burning in the eyes is there with an additional feeling of a lump in my throat. I bite my lower lip to calm myself down which obviously is of no use. All the while, Felix keeps talking, "That pretty much sums up the story. I took my Shahada after that. It was probably three days ago. I spent the last three days practicing how to be a proper Muslim and the process is ongoing. As I'm still a newbie, I'm expecting your earnest help in this matter."

I look back to find him smiling at me. Only now I realize how much I have missed this, me looking at him to find him already looking at me with a smile. The lump is getting bigger and it's getting harder to swallow. I blink again to stare at him. There is an awkward silence between us. A few seconds pass by like this before he shrugs awkwardly. "Well, aren't you going to say something?"

"You aren't finished," I reply in a breath. He gives me a confused look. "But I just finished telling you the story."

I nod. "You finished telling the story. But you're not done talking, are you?"

He understands what I mean. I can clearly see it in his eyes. Still, he shrugs for the third time. "I'm not sure I'm understanding what you mean. What else is there to say? Name it."

I mumble looking down at my hands, "You got it already. Stop pretending."

There is a second of silence before he inquires, "Why are you so sure?"

I don't look up but I feel him getting closer. He has gotten up from the seat and is closing the distance between us. I hear the sound of my heart pounding. He leans down to meet my gaze once he is in front of me. "If you want to hear it so badly, why don't you say it?"

I peer into his eyes, getting lost in light brown orbs taking a darker shade. The kohl makes them look insanely attractive. Before I end up losing myself, I whisper, "I don't want to say it."

He turns his head to the right to chuckle which sounds dark enough to send a chill down my spine. "Obviously. But the last time I said something similar, may I mention, with your persistence, I was harshly rejected." I look down at my hands again. He is right. I forced him that time and I'm doing that again. I have no right to do so. If anything—

"Fine." Felix breathes, cutting my chain of thoughts. I bring my gaze back to meet his. He sits back on the bed and pulls my chair grabbing the underside of it to bring me closer to him. The fluttering inside my heart starts after a long time. Oh how much I missed them!

Holding our eye contact, Felix announces, "I will say it because I have come so long. I'm not gonna lose you for something so fragile."

Both of us take a deep breath at the same time. He leaves my chair and sits straight. Clearing his throat, he goes for the confession, "Maisara Kamal, by now, it should be obvious how much I want you as a partner in my life. We have come so far. Both of us have our own share of suffering. Both of us made enough sacrifices to reach this stage of life. I don't want any more sacrifices or suffering. I don't have the power to stop them, obviously, but I want to experience them with you in the near future. I want us to stick together through thick and thin—"

He pauses abruptly, pulling me out of the daze that I have gone into with his confession. Then, he smiles shyly. "Sorry, it sounds like a wedding vow but that's just how I feel. What I wanted to say is that I want us to experience everything that life throws at us together. I want us to ride and die together. I want us to be together in every aspect of our life. So, will you marry me and give me the chance to get you as mine and make me yours in a halal way?"

And the next thing I know is that I'm crying. The burning in my eyes has turned into a fountain. All the efforts to keep my emotions at bay are lost now. It's as if a switch has been turned on and the water is released. Surprisingly, I'm not crying from sorrow or stress. These are happy tears.

My prayers are getting answered. My dream is becoming reality. Endless nights of begging for help from Allah SWT to change our fate are finally getting answered. How can I control my emotions even after witnessing such a miracle happening in my life?

Felix hasn't expected me to end up crying. He looks taken aback for a while. Then he leans in with a softer expression. His hand hovers over my head, my shoulder, and my wrist, and then retreats back, not touching me anywhere. He clears his throat again before saying, "I'm not supposed to touch you."

I give him a spectacular look, sniffing. "Pretty interesting coming from someone who was touching me in front of two other individuals in the kitchen half an hour ago."

He laughs loudly. "Well, that was an act to get them to give us privacy."

I feel my face getting hot. I should have been the one to tell him that. I shouldn't have let him touch me so casually. But I didn't. Every time he touched me, I enjoyed it, lying to myself that this was the last time. And I kept repeating it. I'm ashamed of that. I asked for forgiveness from Allah SWT for that issue. I'm still doing it.

"So," he exclaims bringing my attention back to him. "Is that a 'yes' or...."

Is he being real now? I give him a highly annoyed look. I know I'm looking ridiculous rather than annoyed with tears running down my eyes and a grimace. "Why are you so dumb? Obviously, it's a yes. What else could it be?" Another troubling thought comes to my mind that makes me question it. "But—"

He shakes his head cutting me off. "No buts. A yes is a yes. And I'm dumb only for you."

There he goes again. "Can you stop that for a second? You need to get my dad's permission if you're marrying me. What about that?"

"Well, about that." He rubs his head and then winces as if he has just remembered something. "I went to your house for the second time and asked your father for his permission. At first, he said that he wasn't in a place to give me permission for that. Later when I made it clearer, he said that if it makes you happy, he doesn't see the problem. So, yeah, that is sorted out too."

Oh God, this guy! I rub a hand over my face. He visited my family, well, my ex-family, if that's even a term to be considered, twice within a week. Those people who have been non-existent to me for years. I have been doing great without them. But I'm not a monster. They were my family once, however it was, I belonged there. Still, after all these years, all these pains and troubles, when I hear that Felix has met them, not once, twice, I feel a deep urge to ask him about them. There is a high chance that the answer will upset me. That's why, I try to suppress the urge to do that now.

Wiping my tears, I clear my throat before voicing out my thoughts to him. "I want to ask you about the visit to my family but I already feel too overwhelmed by everything."

He nods in understanding, smiling softly. "It's fine. Take your time. Now we get all the time in the world."

We stare at each other in silence. I can't tell what he is seeing but I can tell what I'm seeing. I'm seeing a man who has gone to such lengths to be with me. When I was younger, mom used to say that no man would ever be patient enough to bear with all of my bullshits. I used to believe her and became sad about it. Now, I want to show her, no, not only her. I want to show the world that I've got a man who didn't just endure my 'bullshits' but he found his way back to me when I lost all hope The length to which he can go to get me back is beyond.

Converting is no easy work. I know how hard it is. For someone to willingly go through that path, only for the hope that they will have the girl they love in the process, is highly rare. I mean, people don't even put effort into doing something little for their loved ones nowadays. And here I got one who just changed his world to match mine.

"Felix," I call him, my voice quivering with emotions as I keep my gaze locked with his. He smiles in amusement, replying to me, "Yeah?"

"Are you really gonna be mine?" I whisper, still not quite believing it. My voice breaks as I say this and my lips tremble. He gets up from the bed and kneels before my knees. Looking up at me, he whispers back, "I was always yours."

I smile, liking his answer a little too much. "No, I mean we are actually getting married?"

His eyes shine with amusement. "Yeah, that's what is gonna happen in the next couple of days."

"I still can't believe it," I say to which he laughs. He probably wants to touch my hands but then thinks better of it. His fingers start drawing patterns on the edge of my t-shirt that has reached my thigh. "Trust me, I can totally feel you."

I have this horrible urge to touch him now. Anywhere. Either running my fingers through his fluffy hair or grabbing the finger that's drawing patterns. I think he sees it in my eyes as he gets up all of a sudden. "You may want to rest after such a long day."

He is right. I need sleep. He starts to back away to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says grabbing the doorknob. As he is about to twist it open, I stop him. "Wait."

He looks at me over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

I bite my lips thinking how much out of the context my next words are gonna be. But I've been thinking about it for a while now and haven't got the chance to ask. Now that he is here, I want to know it. "It's not relevant but why do you call me eudaemon?"

He looks surprised at first, then suspicious. "I didn't tell you about it?"

When I shake my head in negative, he makes such a dramatic expression that I end up chuckling. He smiles seeing my smile.

"I still love your smile," he says, making me blush. I urge him to say the reason behind my weird nickname.

"Well, eudaemon means a good spirit or an angel. It's also associated with fortune. It's from Greek mythology if I'm not wrong. I call you that because, well, it's kinda self-explanatory. You are obviously the best person in my eyes. When I started calling you that, the morning at the library, after the fight with Ryker, I did it because I felt like you came into my life like an angel. I think saying guardian angel won't be an exaggeration either."

As he finishes the explanation, I stare at him in awe. I don't even feel the butterflies anymore. There is a whole zoo in there where all the animals have gone wild. My eyes are once again getting filled up with tears.

"That's such an honor," I whisper out my gratitude to him. He bows a little in reply. "I am the one who is honored to have you in my life."

I look away. "Such a flirt!"

He laughs, a deep and rich vibrating sound that I've heard after so long. I watch him laughing. This must be one of the most beautiful scenes in the world.

When he is done, he sighs a little. Smiling at me, he says, "Okay, I will not bother you anymore. Goodnight, Maisara.'

"Goodnight, Felix," I reply, as he walks out and the door clicks shut behind him.