Maisara's pov-
It still amazes me how I have turned into an awkward mess from a confident woman. Now whether that's only when I'm around a specific person or in general is the real question that I haven't gotten the answer to yet. But it's confirmed that my gradual change is the effect of spending an unhealthy amount of time with the said person. Their attributes are rubbing off on me.
It is also working vice-versa. I remember the first time I met him and how he is now. From a clumsy individual who doesn't know his way out of an uncomfortable situation to a confident young man who knows how to handle a messy situation, he has come a long way. So, it shouldn't really surprise me how he has left the wedding venue within the blink of an eye and taken me to the hospital.
After the Police take Ryker and Oliver out of there, the next thing that happens is Lydia faints. Again commotion. From my side, it's the same guilty feeling. On top of that, I'm unable to move and help her. She doesn't need that either. She has her bridesmaids and some people from her family helping her.
However, Vicky takes advantage of the commotion. Somehow she manages to bring a wheelchair and helps me in it. Well, that doesn't exactly help, she more or less forces me into the wheelchair. Because I struggle, refusing to leave without checking or helping Lydia first. Now if I think about it, I realize that it's the most stupid thing I have done and I'm glad that Vicky has forced me to get out of there.
When we reach the parking area, I find a figure standing against the wall next to my car. The place is dark, lit only by the light coming from the venue. So I can't exactly tell who it is from where I see him first. Vicky has seen him too as she abruptly stops. Nonetheless, we proceed, mostly because both of us are curious to find out who it is. That's a very wrong move which usually kills the characters in a horror movie. We shouldn't have done that either.
However, the person turns out not to be a harmful one. It is Felix.
Like every other time, my stupid heart does a sudden break-dance. This time, it's not merely from what I feel about him, it's the hope I find in seeing him there. His waiting by my car indicates that he is here to see me. Even after I destroyed his brother's life and possibly his sister-in-law's, he is here to see me. Whatever reason it is, doesn't matter at this moment.
I have honestly never thought in my life that I would get worked up seeing someone just standing by a wall, that too half-clad in shadows. It seems that I'm wrong after all. He looks like a mysterious character, like a mastermind from the villain's side of a story, like the one who lures the hero into his trap. I can't see it but if I dare to imagine him having that look, that looking down over his nose look, that—Get a hold of yourself!
We cross the remaining path and reach my car. Felix closes the space between us and stands by my side. I tilt my head up to get a better view of his face. The place near my car is less dark than it is near that wall. Though his body is now under the faint light, his face remains concealed in the shadows. His proximity increases my heart rate. He has left his suit somewhere and is now standing only in his dress shirt and pants. The top two buttons are left undone giving me a peak of his skin underneath that shirt. I let out a deep breath and force my eyes back to his shadow-covered face. It's still impossible for me to make out the expression on his face. However, I speak first and our conversation goes something like this,
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to take you to the hospital."
"You-What? Why?"
"Because you are injured? Why else?"
"I can go to the hospital by myself. Besides, Vicky is here with me."
"I also need to talk to you. Alone."
That last sentence is enough to shut me up and allow him to do whatever he wants to do. Because I need to talk to him too.
We get into the car. He is the one who insists on driving. We drop Vicky at her house first. Then he takes me to the hospital. It isn't an emergency case, and still, he makes a big fuss about it. Now we are waiting for the X-ray report after they have given me the necessary treatment. The reports are supposed to come out tomorrow morning but Felix 'insists' them to give us the reports tonight. And seeing how he 'insists' gets me thinking of how he has come a long way, how different he is now from when we first met.
"Do you wanna go home? I can drop you off, then come back here to get the reports," Felix says from my side as I keep my eyes ahead on the patient who is arguing with the nurse. His suggestion sounds quite tempting. I'm feeling tired as hell and I obviously need sleep.
But the nagging questions in my mind are getting hard to ignore and I don't think it will be a good choice to leave without answers. Instead of replying to him, I say, "You said that you needed to talk."
I am still in the wheelchair and he is sitting on one of the chairs beside me. I turn my head to look at him. Like always, I'm captivated by his eyes. There are more than enough lights in the waiting area and they are easily reflecting on his golden orbs. The look is not necessarily intense but it's steady and calm. He is looking tired. His hair is tied back. The uneven front hair is somehow making him look even more attractive. I look like a skeleton with a ponytail when I tie my hair like him. How does one look exhausted and hot at the same time? Not to mention, those two goddamn buttons of his shirt are still left open.
"You wanna talk here?" He raises his eyebrows as if it's a ridiculous idea. He also looks around dramatically to emphasize his point. I roll my eyes. "No one is here waiting to eavesdrop on our conversation."
The waiting area is mostly empty. There is this one patient who keeps arguing with the nurse. And there is another one dozing off in the farthest corner of the room. No one else is in sight.
His lips lift up in the tiniest hint of amusement. He tilts his head to the side in agreement. "If you say so."
"May I go first?" I ask and he gestures for me to continue. I shift a little in my seat to make myself comfortable before asking the uncomfortable question. "Why are you helping me? Cut out both the "Because you are sick" and "I need to talk" crap. In case you didn't know I am the one who destroyed your brother's life. So if your actions are a result of ignorance, you can leave it now that you know the truth."
He says nothing for a moment too long, just holding my gaze. I hold my breath because his face is again void of any emotions. There is no change in his gaze either. Allah knows what Felix sees in my face. He finally replies, "I already know that."
Those words and the way he says them are enough to leave me dumbfounded. He knows? I suddenly remember how he was staring at me when the video was playing on the screen. It felt like he knew something. So, I was right after all. He did know that it was me.
Suddenly, holding his stare seems like a lot of work. So I turn my eyes down and look at my hands. Just then, the question comes to my mind. "How much do you know?"
He takes some time to answer that. "Maybe the question should be, "How do you know?"."
I shrug. "Well, that too."
He lets out a deep breath before saying, "Well, that's......" Then there is a weird pause that prompts me to look back at him. He looks like he is contemplating whether he should say it or not. It seems like he takes one look at my face and decides to go for it. "Ian told me."
What?
"He knows too," I whisper leaning back on the chair and rubbing a hand over my face. That's really fucked up.
But wait, that explains everything actually. The missing piece of the puzzle is Ian. I suddenly get a flashback of how Ian winked and saluted me after tackling Ryker. I sensed it odd at that time but decided to let it go thinking that it was just a typical Ian-like behavior. It wasn't. As the realization hits me, I move my hand from my face and look back at Felix. "So, he is the one who....."
He understands what I'm about to say. "Changed the video? That was James. He is good with these kinds of stuff," Felix explains and I let out a groan. He knows that too. What the fuck!
"Who else knows?" That's the natural question that comes to me because suddenly it feels like it's getting way too messy. I definitely fucked up. All I planned was to prevent Ryker from knowing my plan. I never thought of the possibility of anyone else knowing. That was a major flow and I definitely should have thought about that too. Now the possibility is that I may have more potential enemies if anyone else knows. That is if I consider Ian and James as my enemies. Because I'm not quite sure about their intentions yet.
Felix thinks for a second before answering, "I don't think anyone else knows besides us."
I don't hope so either but that doesn't really help me much. Reality can be much more ugly.
Since I can't get any more information on this topic from him, I move on to the next topic, "You still didn't tell me how you know."
Felix presses his lips together and looks away probably taking his time to arrange his words. A moment later, he begins to speak, "Well, Ian found it out first. You already know that he was the best man."
I do know that and I have been wondering why Felix wasn't the best man in his own brother's wedding. Now isn't the best time to ask that. So I don't bother. He continues, "I don't know the details but Ian told me that he found it out while checking everything for the last time. Ryker didn't tell anyone else about the presentation, not even Ian. He just instructed the event management to arrange a large screen. So, when Ian found it out first, he obviously asked him what it was about. And Ryker said that it was a surprise."
I scoff. Of course, it was. I bet he didn't even inform his bride about it. Felix shrugs. "And you know Ian. He will do anything that he is told not to do. And surprises are one of them. So, he needed to find out what it was and kinda forced James for that. And they found your video first."
He pauses. Rubbing a hand on his stubble, he thinks of something before continuing, "That happened last night. I didn't know anything until it was this afternoon. Some times after you had gone to see Lydia, Ian came to me and said to check up on you. Well, he half forced and half blackmailed me to do that. And when I insisted to know what it was, he explained in short. He thought that something was wrong with you because the clip was changed and now it was a video on you instead of Ryker. That's why, I went to find you and we met in the hallway."
He pauses again as if suddenly remembering something. His eyes travel to my legs. When they travel back to meet mine, they hold a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry. I'm responsible for your twisted ankle. I was in a rush and was not looking where I was going."
I shake my head. "Don't worry. It isn't your fault. I should have been more careful."
We fall into silence. It doesn't even feel like one because my mind is buzzing with more questions. I end up asking anyway, "So when you knew I did that, your first thought was to save me? Not hate me?"
"Why would I hate you? Your safety is my first priority. I think I told you that before too," Felix replies nonchalantly, looking almost annoyed that I have asked such a weird question, as if taking care of your brother's enemy is the most common thing in the world.
I seriously don't know what's wrong with him. Or if something is actually wrong with me. Because if our positions were reversed, if I had a family like he has and a sibling bond like him and Ryker's, I would sure as hell be mad at him and possibly never have contact with him ever again. Maybe what I did was right for Ryker's actions but I have my own share of regrets regarding that decision. I don't know how Felix is not seeing my point.
As if sensing my thoughts, Felix says, "You didn't destroy his life. He did that himself." I open my mouth to protest but he gestures me to pause. "He had it coming. Whatever you did was the right thing to do."
I cannot exactly pinpoint what it is in his voice but that is enough to convince me. That also frightens me. I never needed anyone to tell me and convince me that whatever I was doing was right. I built myself like that. I knew I was right anytime I did anything. How did I come down to this level?
Moreover, I'm not even sure if it's a good or a bad thing. It becomes really hard to judge myself whenever I'm with Felix. He never sees any fault in any part of me and somehow even convinces me to do the same. His constant appreciation makes me do it too. But that doesn't work well for me. I built myself from the ashes to who I am today. If I keep appreciating everything about me, I will never grow. But with Felix, this only feels natural. I wonder what would happen if he one day finds something about me that makes him repulse.
That brings a sudden realization. I meekly ask him, "Did you see that video? About me?"
"I didn't get the chance to," Felix answers. That makes me feel slightly relieved. But there also remains a possibility. I ask him, "Would you if you had the chance?"
He looks me in the eye and asks, "Do you want me to?"
Do I want him to? The natural response is I obviously don't. I have seen the video myself. I know what Ryker has put in there about me. And if possible, I never want Felix to know that part of me at all. That me doesn’t exist anymore. So, why do we bring it up now?
But when I'm here, sitting beside him with him looking at me like that, with him appreciating every part of me, I feel a sudden challenge in myself. If anything can make him repulse about me, it can be that video. What will he think if he sees that stage of me? Would he still appreciate me or would he despise me?
"The video was........ about my past." So I tell him, "From when I was Rose. Do you.......want to know about my past?"
He offers me a warm smile that always makes my heart flatter. "I would always want to know anything that's related to you."
The anxiety feels so real. Would you still look at me like that after knowing that part of me?
I hesitate a little. "It's a long story though. The time is—"
He lets out a wholehearted laugh before saying, "My dear Eudaemon, Time isn’t a problem. I have all the time in the world when I am with you."
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