Maisara's pov

It still feels sketchy to suddenly go and meet Lydia. I talked to her on the phone earlier today. She didn't tell me to meet her before the wedding. So what happened all of a sudden for her to take such a decision?

Is that actually her or is that-

I already checked the message and her contact twice. It surely looks like her. But if someone else decided to send me that message from her phone, I couldn't tell that.

I glance up at Ian's back, bouncing lightly on his feet, taking the steps of the staircase rhythmically as if he weighs nothing. It's weird to see a grown-ass man walking like that but Ian has always been like that. With him, weird seems natural.

The thought crosses my mind awkwardly. Does Ian know? Is he involved in any way in this mess? I don't have any particular attachments to him or maybe I don't even particularly like him. But I don't want him to get involved. I don't want to be on the opposite side of him. I don't know him enough- Yes, I have known him for a long time but not enough- to know where his morality or loyalty lies. But I believe him to be a better person than what I'm suspecting.

Then again, I believed Ryker once too.

"You know, I can feel your eyes on me." Ian's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I watch him turning around in the middle of the staircase and giving me a smirk which I assume he applies to the girls he......whatever he does with them.

I just keep staring at him without saying anything. Because let's be honest, what do I say? That are you involved with Ryker? Or do you know what is happening? Or do you know why Lydia called for me?

The teasing look in his eyes change slowly, turning into a......... concerned look? Honestly, that look is so much weird to see on him than that bouncing on the stairs. He leans forward and as I keep wondering what he is doing, he sits down on the step he was standing. Plopping his elbows on his knees, he places his chin over his palms and looks up at me. "What is it?"

I thought the concerned look was weird on him but now this look that he has in his eyes, I can't exactly tell what it is, a mixture of curiosity, concern, admiration, and some more of it I cannot pinpoint, it inspires an uncomfortable feeling, not a bad one, just not a good one either. I look away.

"Nothing. Just thinking about something." I start to move to the other side of the stair so that I can cross him but he throws a leg over the step blocking my path before I can even take a step. I glare at him.

His hands immediately go up defensively, eyes widening. "Relax, woman, I mean no harm."

He pulls his hands and leg to himself, abruptly changing his attitude and with that changing the environment around us as well. His body relaxes and looks almost.......exhausted as he leans back on the stair step and pats the space beside him. "May I have the honor to have a little chat with you?"

"I have nothing to say," comes out my natural response before I so much even blink. He shrugs, not looking offended at all. "Maybe I do."

"What-" I start, then bite down my words. What I'm gonna say sounds incredibly rude. I gulp down the words and choose a different line. "Lydia is waiting for me."

He grins like an idiot. "Let her. How often did I get the chance to talk to such a goddess? She did that more than me already. Fuck, she even lived with you. I would worship you every day if I did that."

Lived with me? What a weird choice of words. Or maybe, it is normal but sounds weird to me. "You can stop complimenting me. It will take you nowhere." Surprisingly, I find myself sitting in that empty space he gestured earlier.

He chuckles. "Oh, no, no. Of course not. Felix would tear my head out of my body and serve it to you in a plate if I so much even think of anything like that."

That name. That one fucking name is enough to elicit a response from me. One fucking name and it is enough to crave emotions out of the stone wall of my mind. His desperate and exhausted face shows up in my mind instantly followed by other things I don't want to think about. I have to clench my jaw tightly to stop myself from letting out any words or expressions. I don't remember fighting this hard to keep my face neutral and failing.

Ian's eyes don't miss that simply because he is staring at me hard. It has just occurred to me that he intentionally used his name to see my reaction.

I consider turning my face away from him, but it's already too late.

"So it is about Felix." I don't know why I expected his tone to be loud, cheerful like always, or victorious like he achieved something. So, it comes out pretty surprising when he says that in a flat and neutral tone.

"I already told you it's nothing." And I already said that I didn't want to talk about it. Still, I'm sitting beside him talking about useless things when I should actually be up there with Lydia to know what's wrong.

"Maybe." He shrugs, nonchalantly, which somehow manages to infuriate me. He doesn't pay any attention, his gaze is lost somewhere far away. "Or maybe it's everything."

"What are you even talking about?" I ask, my irritation turns into confusion almost instantly. I'm pretty sure he's not talking about me or Felix or any situation that involves the two of us. He is talking about something else, personal maybe. His mind has drifted somewhere else.

In response, he looks down, through the gap of two series of staircases, at the crowd of guests gathered at the venue. His face holds such a harsh expression that catches me off-guard. I'm pretty sure I never saw that kind of expression on his face before. That's so.......not like him.

I try to follow his gaze to find out who is the person- because it surely is someone that caused the sudden shift of mood- but there are so many people down there, I can't exactly tell who it is.

When I am debating whether I should call him or not thinking he is lost in his thoughts, he finally opens his mouth, his tone is still that flat one but now, there is an edge to it. "I don't know what happened. So, it would be unwise of me to say anything here."

He pauses to tilt his head and look me in the eye. The harsh expression is gone when he looks at me. "You are a smart woman, intelligent and clever. And so fucking ruthless." The corner of his lips curls up subtly when he says 'ruthless' but it goes away just as quickly as it comes. "I'm sure there is a solid reason for your action. I believe you know what you are doing."

Those last words hold so much confidence, even I have never felt so confident about myself in my entire life. Damn, he thinks too highly of me. What did I even do to deserve that?

His eyes slide back to the crowd beneath us, searching for that one particular person. By the way, his gaze finally fixes on something, I guess he has found that person. A muscle in his jaw clenches. I don't bother to find out who it is this time. I know I won't be able to.

This time, when he opens his mouth, his words come out slowly, barely above a whisper. "But you know timing is a bitch. Whatever you are doing, communicate with each other when you still have time. Talk to him. Say whatever that is you want to say to him. Say whatever it is that's in your mind. What can possibly be the worst, huh? Whatever the outcome will be if you say it now can't be worse than the regret you will carry for the rest of your life if you don't say it. You never know when the time will end for either of you."

That........... Well, I don't know what to say.

I have known Ian since high school. He, James, and Ryker were best friends. I don't exactly remember but I guess Ian was the first one I knew among all of them. He was in one of my classes, again I don't remember which one. He used to be the troublemaker, for sure and was popular with girls, like now. He used to be what you say, a typical high school playboy. I heard he still possesses some of those traits.

He was always the cheerful one, with a big grin on his face. Idiotic activities got him in trouble a lot but I had never seen him without even a smile. He, I used to believe, has those natural smiley faces.

But now, the smile is wiped off his face completely. Without that grin, he looks like a completely different person. His eyes are glazed, following intently the person who has shuttered him like that. Damn, who is that person who has such an impact on him?

"Are you talking about me or yourself?" I may sound rude but I don't have any better outcome than this. Comforting him would be awkward. I don't have that kind of relationship with him.

That works exactly how I expected it to work. He turns his head in my direction, with that stupid grin back on his face. The glazed look in his eyes is replaced with the familiar glint of mischief. He gets up abruptly, offering me his hand. "I'm done talking. Let's go. Lydia is waiting for you."

I shake my head, getting up by myself, leaving his hand suspended in the air. "Idiot."

"Correction. A handsome idiot." He flashes me his teeth before shoving his hands into his pockets and starting to bounce up the stairs again.

I don't know why I turn my head back and glance at the venue again. Probably, in a faint hope to find the person.

Nope. Too many people. Suits and gowns. No one in particular seems to catch my eyes like they did for Ian.